Eyeball Treat: Blood Glacier (2013)
First Time View? Yup!
The Meat of It: The blood glacier looks like a refreshing beverage to local wildlife. The problem is that it contains organisms that take the DNA of the wildlife that drinks it and the DNA of anything in the wildlife's stomach and mixes it up into a creature cocktail.
Some Thoughts: I honestly thought with a title like Blood Glacier that this was going to be some crazy Sharknado-esque, Syfy Channel cheese. I was completely off on this one. It's a bit like The Thing and even a bit like Alien. I mean, don't go into it expecting it to be of the same caliber as those two amazing films. Blood Glacier is good but it's not that good.
Warning: Since this is a newer movie I tried to go easy on the spoilers but it does contain clips and talk of the movie. So, ya know, keep that in mind.
Here are five things I love about Blood Glacier:
1. This guy. The imperfect hero.
He drinks. He smokes. He doesn't wear pants when he goes to work. He's grumpy, grizzled, rude, emotionally damaged and anti-social. But when it comes down to doing what needs to be done, this guy still manages to pull it off.
2. The isolation.
The isolation in this film is one of the things it has in common with movies like The Thing and Alien. Though not as expertly utilized as those films, it does add another layer to the horror.
3. The creatures.
I'm a sucker for creatures. And since the plot is set up in such a way that it's like a Mad Libs for creature design it's exactly my kind of film.
I also like that the film hints at the ideas that mythological creatures like mermaids, wolfmen and even Anubis, the Egyptian jackal-headed god, may have been a reality thanks to those tiny gene laboratories.
The moment when banana-eater is yelled at is pretty hilarious. And I'm not the only one who thinks so. That scene inspired an entire BuzzFeed post called 7 Crying Scenes Made Better With a Banana.
If you're not too lazy to push play, you should watch the banana moment in action and you'll see what I mean.
5. The ending.
Oh god. The ending. I don't want to spoil it but it's bizarre and exactly the kind of thing I love! It's taking every ounce of strength I can muster to resist posting spoiler screenshots. I love it so much!
I definitely recommend Blood Glacier! Though I do not recommend watching the dubbed version because the voices just don't sound right at all. If this were a sillier movie, I'd say go ahead but the goofiness of the dubbing takes away from the atmosphere. Stick to the original German language version and use subtitles if needed.
Until next time...
Deadly Beetle-Fox Kisses,
Lady Terminator AKA Erika Instead