Friday, October 10, 2014

Nightbreed (1990)

Eyeball Treat: Nightbreed (1990)

View #6 First Time View? Nuh-uh. But it was a virgin viewing for my movie watching partner!
The Meat of It: Midian is where the monsters live. Also, monsters are the shit.

Here are five things I love about Nightbreed:

1. Monsters:

Wait. Midian is where the monsters live. How is this the first creature Boone sees there?! Despite its ridiculous adorableness and Precious Moments eyes, it still manages to scare the shit out of him.

Puppy kisses: the stuff of nightmares.

Let's try this again. 

2. Monsters:

No. No. No. That's Oliver Parker. He's not a monster. At least I don't think he is. I mean, I don't know the guy but I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt. But holy hell, that innocuous looking mug transforms into this...

The ever hungry Peloquin.

That dude is terrifying and has a pretty persistent craving for meat. People meat. And he gets my favorite bit of dialog from the film...

3. Monsters:

That's Babette. She's like the weirdly adorable offspring of Mac from Mac and Me and one of those fucked up hairless cats. 

I love her. And I want to slather her in sunscreen. 

4. Monsters:

Sexy, sexy monsters.

That erotic bit of strangeness is the deadly Shuna Sassi. She's pretty amazing.

5. Monsters:

David Cronenberg
I love the hell out of this guy's films but there's something about the way he talks and his facial expressions that freak me out. Plus, his character is the most monstrous of them all.

Bonus Monster #1:

What happens when you take Littlefoot from The Land Before Time and throw him in a blender with a vintage E.T. doll?

 This. This is what happens.


Bonus Monster #2:

How about if we take Kuato from Total Recall and let him hump on our dinner?

Let's do the math. The monster math.


So, if you couldn't tell, I'm a big fan of monsters. My heart belongs to Midian. 

Until next time...

Monster Smooches,
Lady Terminator AKA Erika Instead

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