Sick and Tiled: I LIKE THAT SHIT

I'm going to tell you about some shit I like. 


Today's lucky shit is...Sick and Tiled!


What is this shit?

Bazooka Jenn is a cool chic and horror fan with a talent for designing kickass film inspired decor! She offers magnets, coasters, and plaques with quotes and art from movies like The Shining, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, and American Psycho. Just take a look...

Raise a little hell with these sweet Hellraiser magnets!

Having trouble getting into the holiday spirit? These festive coasters should help!

This would make an awesome plaque for a workspace!

Why should I care about this shit?

There are a couple of reasons you should care. First off, this shit is sturdy, high quality, and handmade. The artwork is sealed to protect it. The plaques come with attached sawtooth hooks. The coasters are cork lined. A lot of time and care goes into each order and the products reflect that. 

Second, this shit is sweet. It's the perfect addition to a horror fan's home. And if you're not much for knick-knacks and decor, the coasters are functional and look awesome!

Third, GIFTS. Seriously, this shit makes awesome gifts. I know that I personally would be thrilled to receive any number of items from Sick and Tiled's shop! I've already purchased gifts for myself and gifted my free sample to a friend. Let me tell you though, it was not easy to part with that sample and I only did it on the condition that I would purchase a replacement for myself!




Lady Terminator, are you just blowing smoke up our asses?

Nope. I genuinely love this shit. I did receive a free sample in exchange for an honest review but prior to that I was already a paying customer! I love decorating my home with things that remind me of the films I adore and Sick and Tiled has some great shit for doing just that!

Here are a few of my own photos:

Look at how much detail goes into even the packaging!

The plaque I gifted my lotion obsessed friend!

The American Werewolf in London coasters I purchased for myself!

Me & my killer coaster!

So how do I get my mitts on some of this fantastic shit?

You've got two choices! 

1. Check out the Sick and Tiled Etsy Shop (here)! If you're going to make a purchase in the next couple of days be sure to take advantage of these savings...

On Thanksgiving (11/27) use code THANKSKILLING2014 to get 20% off your order.

On Black Friday (11/28) receive 15% off everything in the shop.

On Saturday and Sunday (11/29 & 11/30) receive 10% off everything in the shop.

On Cyber Monday (12/1) receive 25% off your order.

Or...

2. Check out the Sick and Tiled Redditgifts Shop (here)! 
And these savings... 

On Black Friday (11/28) get FREE SHIPPING on all sets of 4 coasters (domestic only) or 10% off everything else. 

On Saturday and Sunday (11/29 & 11/30) receive 15% off everything in the shop.

On Cyber Monday (12/1) get 
~40% off coaster sets of 4 or more
~20% off coaster sets of 2 or more
~20% off quote plaques


You can also keep up with new designs, contests and special offers on Facebook and on Twitter!



Sick and Tiled. I like this shit. 

Strangles & Chainsaw Kisses,

~Lady Terminator AKA Erika Instead

Blood Glacier (2013)

Eyeball Treat: Blood Glacier (2013)

First Time View? Yup!
 
The Meat of It: The blood glacier looks like a refreshing beverage to local wildlife. The problem is that it contains organisms that take the DNA of the wildlife that drinks it and the DNA of anything in the wildlife's stomach and mixes it up into a creature cocktail.

Some Thoughts: I honestly thought with a title like Blood Glacier that this was going to be some crazy Sharknado-esque, Syfy Channel cheese. I was completely off on this one. It's a bit like The Thing and even a bit like Alien. I mean, don't go into it expecting it to be of the same caliber as those two amazing films. Blood Glacier is good but it's not that good. 

Warning: Since this is a newer movie I tried to go easy on the spoilers but it does contain clips and talk of the movie. So, ya know, keep that in mind. 

 

Here are five things I love about Blood Glacier:
 


1. This guy. The imperfect hero. 

He drinks. He smokes. He doesn't wear pants when he goes to work. He's grumpy, grizzled, rude, emotionally damaged and anti-social. But when it comes down to doing what needs to be done, this guy still manages to pull it off. 



 
2. The isolation.

The isolation in this film is one of the things it has in common with movies like The Thing and Alien. Though not as expertly utilized as those films, it does add another layer to the horror.



 
 3. The creatures.





I'm a sucker for creatures. And since the plot is set up in such a way that it's like a Mad Libs for creature design it's exactly my kind of film. 

I also like that the film hints at the ideas that mythological creatures like mermaids, wolfmen and even Anubis, the Egyptian jackal-headed god, may have been a reality thanks to those tiny gene laboratories.



4.The banana.

 Photo Source

The moment when banana-eater is yelled at is pretty hilarious. And I'm not the only one who thinks so. That scene inspired an entire BuzzFeed post called 7 Crying Scenes Made Better With a Banana.

If you're not too lazy to push play, you should watch the banana moment in action and you'll see what I mean.

5. The ending. 

Oh god. The ending. I don't want to spoil it but it's bizarre and exactly the kind of thing I love! It's taking every ounce of strength I can muster to resist posting spoiler screenshots. I love it so much!


Rating:

I definitely recommend Blood Glacier! Though I do not recommend watching the dubbed version because the voices just don't sound right at all. If this were a sillier movie, I'd say go ahead but the  goofiness of the dubbing takes away from the atmosphere. Stick to the original German language version and use subtitles if needed.


Until next time...

Deadly Beetle-Fox Kisses,
Lady Terminator AKA Erika Instead

FleshEater (1988)

AKA Three Drunk Girls Go To The Movies

Eyeball Treat: FleshEater (1988)

First Time View? Yes! And actually, I have not one but TWO special guests on my blog today! And this was a first time view for each of them, too!  

The Meat of It: Bill Hinzman is a cool sonofabitch. 

Even animated Bill is pretty tits.

He just wants to make sure you get your fill of zombies. And awkward makeout scenes. And denim. And tractors. 

Seriously, I love this dude. If you've read my mission statement then you already know just how much I adore filmmakers who disregard any advice that might lead them to rethink their project. I am truly inspired by people who take what someone else might consider a terrible, terrible idea and soldier on until completion. I can now add Bill Hinzman to my list of heroes.

So Who are These Special Guests? I had two fabulous dates for the evening. One is the alluring and talented author, Autumn Christian.  The other is a beautiful Hidden Horror contributor, and one of several bloggers at Dreams in the Bitch House...Fawn Krisenthia. I was surrounded by awesome.

A Little About Our Night: We headed out to the super amazing Terror Tuesday event at The Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, TX where those incredible bastards were showing a rare archival 35 mm print of FleshEater! The Alamo always provides for a perfect viewing experience. Before the feature film there was a pre-show with clips and trailers tailor-made to appeal to the type of crowd that shows up for a film called FleshEater. And one of my favorite parts is when the event host (in the case of Terror Tuesday that would be Joseph A. Ziemba) takes the stage and talks a little about the film we're about to enjoy. Joseph knows his shit. Not only are his intros informative but his enthusiasm is always apparent. And it's contagious. By the time the film is about to roll, I'm always pumped thanks to Joseph! 

Anyway, the reason this post is titled AKA Three Drunk Girls Go To The Movies is because we had some time to kill beforehand. And we killed that time by killing a few drinks.

And then we killed a few more.

After the movie, I asked each of my lovely, drunken friends what their favorite part was. 

 Warning: Beware of Spoily Spoilers.

  

1. Here is Autumn's favorite part of FleshEater.

Well, not precisely that part. Her exact words were, "When that angel got shot in the face." 

I kinda can't stop watching this.

It was like that part but more facey. Unfortunately, I can't show you a clip of that dude planting a bullet in angel kid's face. It's implied that it's happening but it's all off screen.

What I can show you is the shooter making this face when he does the deed...

Also, a fun fact I learned from IMDb is that the little angel is actually Bill Hinzman's daughter, Heidi. Makes that scene even more special.



2. Here is Fawn's favorite part of FleshEater:

When I asked her, this was her response:

"Hypothesis: Can you eat through denim?"
"Conclusion: YOPE."

And Fawn does have a point. If denim is your thing, this movie will have you creaming in your pants. Your denim pants.

Just look at this rad Denim Dance Party.



Admit it. You totally got a denim boner from watching that. 

And despite all that denim, everyone still ends up like this.

Your precious denim can't save you.

And this girl was on to denim and its false notions of protection. She realized it was nothing but dead weight so she performed a rare maneuver known as The Denim Discard. 



It didn't really help her though since the thing that's even easier to bite through than denim covered skin is skin that's not covered by denim.



3. Here is my favorite part of FleshEater:




This fabulous bit contains two of my favorite things...super lame party scenes and really awkward dance action. I am especially a sucker for these types of scenes when I get the feeling I'm supposed to think this is a super cool party filled with super cool people.

I'm guessing the guy on the right is in costume since he's not wearing denim but it's hard to say for sure.

Actually, I grew up in a small town so this is a fairly accurate depiction of what an epic barn party is like. 

This was my actual quote regarding my favorite scene... "Everything about the rockin' barn dance scene but especially the nose-bite scene."  

So, here's the glorious nose-bite...


One thing's for sure the gore effects are actually pretty decent and definitely a ton of fun!


All Three Drunk Girls Agree:

The Night of the Living Dead "homage" near the end with these two is pretty freaking great. 

And the Tampa Speech? Amazing. 

I wanted to give you a sample of the Tampa Speech but Youtube didn't have an English language version of FleshEater up. But they did have one in Spanish. Though I'm pretty sure she's speaking the universal language of love when she speaks of the heaven known as Tampa.

 Dreamy.

 FleshEater Ratings:

It appears to be the general consensus among Three Drunk Girls that FleshEater is fantastically fun. Definitely check it out!


Bonus Photo!

After the show, the host was handing out codes for the FleshEater soundtrack. That's just one of the little extra touches that makes coming to the Alamo such a blast. And Joseph was kind enough to pose for a photo!
 

Lady Terminator (Erika Instead) and Terror Tuesday host, Joseph A. Ziemba.

A big thanks to the Alamo for doing what it does and screening gems like FleshEater!  And thanks to my special guests for joining us today on this denim laden adventure! And if you like strange adventures with a little less denim, be sure to check out Autumn's and Fawn's writing! 



Until next time...

Denim Hugs,
Lady Terminator AKA Erika Instead

Brain Damage (1988)

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Witching and Bitching (2013)

Eyeball Treat: Witching and Bitching (2013)
Original Title:Las brujas de Zugarramurdi

First Time View? YES!

 

The Meat of It: Women are bitches. Sometimes they're witches. 


Warning: Since this is a fairly new movie, I've tried not to include too many spoilers. But really, this movie is kickass. You should just go watch it.  

Here are five things I love about Witching & Bitching:


1. The Opening Action Sequence:

 

A bunch of mascots/street performers including Spongebob, Green Army Guy, Silver Jesus and his 10 year old son, rob a Cash 4 Gold type store. This scene is gorgeous and funny and action packed. And the imagery is fantastic! 

Also, is it weird that I was crushing on Silver Jesus? Because I was.


2. The Bathroom Scenes:

Oh, holy hell. Maybe I'm just a spoiled American, but take away that eyeball in the toilet hole and the hand....even clean that place up and make that bathroom shine...and I'm still terrified of and confused by these toilets. I realize that squatting is a perfectly acceptable way to take care of business but I think I'd rather do it in the bushes than over some weird drain in the floor or that sink looking thing. 


3. Javier Botet

I love this guy. Botet is a unique actor in that he has a disorder called marfan syndrome that accounts for his gaunt appearance and contortion abilities.  But it's not just the way he looks and moves that impresses me. He's just a really good actor. In Witching and Bitching he is spot on in a performance that is both amusing and creepy. 

For more Botet, check out this incredible test footage for the movie Mama.


4. Macarena Gomez

 

I just find her mesmerizing. I've been a Macarena Gomez fan ever since Dagon.

As Uxía Cambarro in Dagon.

5. Carolina Bang

 

 

Not only does she have an awesome name and is married to the director (Alex de la Iglesia) but she plays a bitchin' babe. And the side of her head is shaved. It's incredibly hot. Sure her character is a little emotionally unstable, but you would be, too, if you were raised in a man-hating coven. 
  

Rating:

I really enjoyed this flick. It was strange, hilarious, gruesome, and expertly shot. Most of all, it's highly entertaining! I definitely recommend it!


Until next time...

Witchy-Bitchy Love,
Lady Terminator AKA Erika Instead

Street Trash (1987)

Eyeball Treat: Street Trash (1987)

First Time View? Nuh-uh. But it was a virgin viewing for my movie watching partner and today's fabulous special guest, Danger Slater!

The Meat of It: Drinking Tenafly Viper has some pretty harsh side effects. Also, everyone is terrible. Everyone. 

Hey, now. Back it up. Who's this Danger Slater dude? Danger Slater is the sex. He may also be a tapir but that has not yet been confirmed. He's also a published author, the genius behind the video series Trying to Remember Movies, and a Nic Cage fan. He also happens to be a pretty fun movie buddy. 

This guy.

And since he's my special guest, I'm gonna let him take over for a bit while I skip out to do whatever it is that people do when someone else is doing the wordy stuff on their blog. Maybe I'll help myself to a drink...

 
And just a friendly reminder, it's about to get real spoilery up in here. 
 

Here are five things Danger Slater loves about Street Trash: 


1. Rainbow Toilet Guy: 



Toilet Guy is the first victim of the Tenafly Viper wine. The dude literally dissolves into brightly-colored slime. This poison wine shit works crazy FAST. Just one sip and, like, a minute later you're looking like Rainbow Brite's toilet after she ate some bad Indian food. 




2. The Al Pacino of Bums:

This guy is the second victim of the Viper wine. But he doesn't just drink it and melt like some kind of fucking...pancake or whatever. No. Before he even takes a sip, he has to deliver a long soliloquy to the liquor store clerk, lament upon life and all the turmoil it brings, befriend a curious black cat and then, ONLY THEN, does he imbibe that final, fatal drink. I say it's a goddamn shame the Academy overlooked this guy's performance.

3. The 'Shoplifting' Scene:


This is a fairly long, largely unnecessary scene where the gas-masked bum shoves lots and lots of raw chicken down his pants. He is confronted by an old lady who gets the store manager. They then proceed to argue about whether or not there is chicken in his pants for another few minutes. I like this scene because it addresses the philosophical and ethical dilemma of racial inequality in America, and also because I like the way raw chicken feels against my own genitals.

Pardon me, sir, but I can see your chicken.

4. This Guy's Jacket:

I actually forgot why they were even fighting. Something about his girlfriend disappearing or something. Who cares? Look at my dude's jacket. I am so jealous of that jacket! And with the pink pants combo? Human beings actually dressed like this? And not only that, but his guy's fashion sense sets off a chain of events that quickly ends with the least convincing fight scene in movie history. If you haven't seen this movie, here's how I'll describe it to you: Do you remember that kick-ass fight scene from They Live? Now picture the exact opposite of that.



Plus, at the end of the fight, the cop totally barfs on the cool jacket guy's head to further shame him. I'm pretty sure that's police protocol, right?




5. Penis Keep-away:

I mean, I don't even know what to say here...

This. I'll say this.

Alright, Lady Terminator here. I see my blog was left in capable hands and Danger has chosen some pretty incredible scenes. I most certainly agree with him. I love all those things! But today's your lucky day because...

Here are five more things I love about Street Trash:

1. The Setting:

Everything is run down, trashy, covered in graffiti, and dirty. And I'm not just talking about the bulk of the scenes that take place in a junkyard. It's like that everywhere.

And check this place out. I've been calling this the Tire Fort. Two of the main characters live there. That car is their front door.

2. Exploding Dude:



Because EXPLODING DUDE. 

Also, that's the visual I have when a certain someone I know is especially gassy. I live in constant fear that this will one day happen.
 

3. This Chic's Entire Performance:

She is incredibly convincing as a junkie/drunk/mentally disturbed person.

Even freakier, here's the actress from a clip about a deleted scene...

Holy shit! She looks like a normal human being! Well, as normal as someone wearing shoulder pads can look.

Another reason to love her character...this happens:

I'm a sucker for melty tits.

4. James Lorinz  AKA "Doorman"


I'm a HUGE Frankenhooker fan so seeing James in this small first role was a pleasure. 

Plus, he talks like this...

 Don of Douchebags

Speaking of talking, that's my #5...

5. The Awesome Lines: 
(Do I really have to warn you to watch the company you're in when you play these?)

You just want my...

I read like...

She stinks...

Street trash!

And that brings us to the final scores:

So, despite not being able to agree on precisely how many Rainbow Toilet Guys this film has earned, Danger and I can agree that Street Trash is a trashy good time and definitely worth a watch!

A big thanks to Danger Slater for joining us today on this disgusting, hilarious, adventure. And if you like strange adventures, adventures involving killer roads or giant decayed thumb sex, be sure to check out Danger's writing!


Until next time...

Viper Kisses,
Lady Terminator AKA Erika Instead